How to Light a Spark Back in a Relationship


How to Light a Spark Back in a Relationship

I love his hands around my waist.  I really like it when he touches my thighs once we are driving I really like it when he holds my hand.  I really like it when he pulls me to him, I really like it when he takes my arm and entwines it along with his as we walk. I really like and really appreciate the touch of a man.5)      I appreciate being be held by a man.  I appreciate being lovingly held by a man.  When he holds me for no basis for any reason. I really like being spooned or just laying against him and being held on a couch. I really like hugs and rubs when I’m sad. I really like being held when I cry. I really like feeling him against me – his heat, his strength, his touch, his love.  I feel wanted.  I feel cherished.

  I feel safe.Pages: 1 2 3Signup for Our NewsletterGet Us in Your Inbox!Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…Share This ArticleFacebook6Tweet0Pin0Pages: 1 2 3 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, For Women, Relationships You have an obligation to give a moustache ride to some one you love when you have a moustache!bongacams cam Same thing for blogging, kids. “With great power, comes great responsibility.” – Uncle Ben ( not the rice guy) to his nephew, Peter Parker aka Spiderman… It’s about to get a little sappy and soppy at the Hangover Coffee Klatch. The above quote is corny and true. Though, even when great power is not involved, it’s very likely we have responsibilities to meet and uphold. This applies to me in many ways. As a business owner, I have an obligation to provide a certain level of service to my clients, I have a responsibility to handle my share of the workload so that my partner doesn’t get overwhelmed. Here, on the Urban Dater, I likewise have a number of responsiblities; sometimes that responsibility is to entertain, sometimes it’s to answer questions from people seeking advice and sometimes it’s to our community. With respect to community, I’ve elaborated on its importance to me in the past. If there was clearly no community, then there would be no Urban Dater.

As much as Taylor and I love to dish, we don’t exactly try this for the pay or because it’s cool. We take action because we feel like we’re helping people through our type of assholery ( new word, peeps). The community piece is especially important to me because it has helped me to be a better blogger; community is what keeps me going, really. There are great people I’ve met through this Urban Dater project that have helped along the way and I’m very grateful! It’s because our little community is really great that I’m very happy to give back it to it whenever i will. Taylor and I had someone reach out to us for a cross promotional content thing and for some advice on their site. We couldn’t do the cross promo piece, but we could help them making use of their site. I took a look before bed aka 2am and sent my opinions and remarks. Having taken a recent look at their site, it seems they took some of my suggestions to heart. Great for them! It’s that type of stuff that helps grow community as well as its talent. The above example should serve as a standard for how I ought to conduct myself at all times. That is, if he have the knowledge, the ability and expertise, we have to be helping people, when they ask. Period. That’s a pretty bold statement, but that’s also the Urban Dater continues to grow; it’s through the support and help of our community.

Especially from our friends and, of course, our readers. This whole stupid post could be summed up with a simple demand: Help each other. I would like to thank all those who helped us along the way and continue to support us. Taylor and I appreciate and love you all, you know who you are. To our readers, we try this for you because it sure isn’t for the pay. =) If you ever have a question about blogging, love and relationships or anything in between or outside, just ask us. We’re very happy to help. Alex Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Uncategorized Tagged in: bloggers, community Cohabitation could be like having someone else’s underwear on your face… not necessarily. It’s been almost a year since i moved in with my girlfriend. Thinking about that, it’s been a fun and twisted ride. Mostly good, some things were rough. But I think I’ve come away with some pointers that can help you women out and give you some insight into how men think and

Some men, such as myself, have dillusions of grandeur; that a woman will make him sandwiches all day long in nothing but an apron and heels ( or if you’re like me, the little black dress is a fave).

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Women, you must set the record straight quickly. Don’t make him a single sandwich! Tell him to have his own beer and generally be shitty to the guy… Why? Also, I should mention, this is a basic cohabitation survival guide, or my lovely friend, Taylor Cast, who might benefit from this piece of advice. Ladies, it’s important that you establish your position in early stages and I don’t mean assuming the doggy position. No, no. I mean you need to let you guy know that he’s not a youngster and that you’re not his mother, that is, unless that’s what you guys do for role play kinkiness. No judging here. The Bills I’m not discussing that shitty football team, from Buffalo either. It’s easy to get really cozy really quickly.

But before that coziness takes hold, make sure to figure some basic things out: Who is responsible for what bills? Will you get a joint checking account to pay for household expenses, or keep em separate (always great for us men if you’re vulnerable to buying lots of poo-nography) This one is important. Groceries. You may not think it is, but it is. Dietary habits often conflict between two people. I didn’t do a good deal of shopping in my bachelor pad. I think beef jerky and apples were about all you could find in my place. Not suited to keeping a woman alive.  Ladies, you need to understand the dining habits of your sweetie. If you intend to change said habits, do so gently. Don’t just introduce him to your low-sodium selection of quinoa and cranberry walnut salad or various other weird shit. Be easy.

Intimacy This is the part where being an unmarried couple really shines. You get to try the milk without buying the cow. Ladies, I’m not referring to you as cows. It’s just an expression. Nonetheless, if you feel compelled to kick my ass, please do so wearing heels and a little black dress. Thanks. Intimacy, when living together, could be great, yet, it can be easily lost. When living alone, in our own space, we are cozy. After time has passed, when living together, you grow comfortable and assume a “nesting behavior.” That is, you guys hang out a lot together and do more things together than you ever have before. We men start walking around in our lucky boxes that have holes in them; you women can come to bed drooling with your retainers and messed up hair.

We’re no prize, but you aren’t either anymore. That’s a easy trap to fall in to… And that’s part of what makes relationships hard. The work that must go into them. I’m not saying to not be comfortable, but making time for intimacy and making it a priority is huge. Your guy may wake up in the morning with a hardon and he needs it “taken care of.” Many times you’re not likely to feel a need to “take care of it.” But we have been sexual beings with very real needs. You need to grind some things out (pun intended), even if it means you get a little less sleep. That hardon isn’t likely to look after itself, now, is it?? Friends and Family In an ideal situation, your man will love your friends and family. In reality this is simply not always going to be the case. I’m lucky, though. My gal has an awesome family with great friends, too. I’m admittedly the weird guy; the dude that can’t talk an excessive amount of without saying “piss, shit, fuck, cock sucking monkey fucker.” I have to adjust my profanity monitor a bit in social situations. Ladies, do take the time to spend adequate time with your man’s friends and family. It seems elementary, but it’s so.

I’ve dated women that wanted little to no part of my friends. That can tell you lot about a person. Which explains why you need to make time and make certain it’s not a chore. When it is a chore and your man’s friends are like the dudes from Workaholics then you must use the lame ass “trueism” that states “we are but a reflection of the friends we keep” then is your guy really the guy you should be with? Ponder that certain, ladies. Conclusion is Delusion It’s not at all times going to be apricots and tater tots, ladies. Domestication is a real fucking chore for both sides! You, the women, are working on domesticating your rabid, formerly in-the-wild, man. Your man has pissed on your entire clothes and now you answer to him and your whereabouts… Right?

Not likely. There should be an allowable number of bending, but never breaking. You live together because you each see something that’s pretty damn special in the other. Remember that when you toss out your man’s socks or when he obliterates your trendy blouses and all that other lady shit you all wear. If he uses your skin cream as shaving cream, be understanding. Mmkay? I think I may compile an easy to check out list of co-habitation tips. =)   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: cohabitation, Relationships Every relationship has certain memorable and important moments that mark different steps you take with your partner. For some, the very first of those moments might be the very first date, or the one month anniversary, or even the very first kiss.

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After that, there are any number of important milestones that can come up, from birthdays and holiday breaks together, to various anniversaries and vacation trips together. In some cases, introducing your partner to your household can even be one of the biggest steps taken. But above all else, there was one milestone that stands out as the most critical, as it certainly takes a relationship to the next level: the proposal. No matter how many big moments come before you become engaged, your relationship can be classified as “dating” until that point. Dating is wonderful, and there are undoubtedly couples who are not engaged who are very serious and very much in love.

nonetheless, advancing from “dating” to “engaged” solidifies you and your partner as something permanent, with intention to last forever, and this is of course an extremely meaningful distinction in most relationships. This is why it really is so important to make the proposal a memorable and romantic experience in itself, as it symbolizes the beginning of a deeper relationship. One of the most important things for getting a proposal just right is to tailor it to your individual partner. We all visit a lot about “perfect proposals” on television or in romantic comedy films, and because of this a lot of people have at least a vague idea of what is expected. Nonetheless, try not to get lost in the Hollywood expectation of a proposal. Instead, make an effort to figure out a way to make the experience special and memorable for you and your partner as an individual couple. This may involve a special gift, a particular location, or anything else that stands out as uniquely personal and romantic. Additionally, as proposals nearly always involve diamond rings, another important thing to get right is the ring selection itself. While your partner will likely be thrilled at any ring, as the engagement is really what matters, you should still do your best to pick out a ring that suits your partner and symbolizes your devotion. For this, you may want to do some advanced searching and shopping at a place like 77-Diamonds where you can really get a feel for the amount of variety that exists in diamond engagement rings. There are actually a lot more options than a lot of people think with regards to settings, stones, and styles of rings, and looking into this in advance can help you to come up with the perfect ring.

At this point, you might be prepared for the perfect proposal! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships Tagged in: 77 diamonds, engagement ring, engagemtns, getting engaged, marriage proposal, proposals, the proposal I guess he’s kinda cute. I’d let him allow me to let him slip it in… – Alex Congratulations! You have finally landed your dream girlfriend! But now that you’ve got her, you wish to make sure you do everything in your power never to lose her. You believe she actually is perfect and amazing, just how can you return the favor and stay the very best possible boyfriend in return? Regardless if you’re a new couple or have seen many winters together, I’m sure these tips will help you keep things fresh with your special lady, so read on! Girls can’t read your mind You need to reassure her frequently. Everyone knows that guys are not that great at expressing their feeling and emotions, especially when faced with a beautiful Russian, Asian or Chinese girl! Most guys just assume that girls know how they feel about them.

But the truth is, she needs to hear it from your and hear it often. It’s simple, just tell her what you like about her or compliment her looks or personality and you’ll be strengthening your bond and providing her an added sense of security which all women long for. Small shows of affection can make a big difference Ladies could be quite sensitive and painful about being too physical in public, especially in early stages in the relationship, nevertheless they still appreciate an affectionate touch. A light caress on the hand or wrist could be just the way to spark a gentle intimacy between you. It shows her that you’re caring and sensitive and painful, while still being discrete and polite. Send a special gift to your special lady Every girl, whether she actually is from China or America, will love and expect a gift on her birthday or Valentine’s day, but give her a surprise gift to really show her you care! If you find a thing that makes you think of her, just grab it off the shelf. You can also create your own special little holiday breaks by giving her a present for your “one month anniversary” or buying her a dozen pink roses because she told you her favorite color is pink. Every one of these things really show her you are think of her all the time! Go out for a night on the town everybody gets tired and lazy sometimes, especially once you’ve been in a relationship for a while. So it’s extra important to make her feel the romance even after you’ve been together for a long time. Go out for a romantic candlelight dinner or go hang out with her friends or family and she will be thinking what a fantastic guy you are for being so thoughtful. If you’re still a new couple, meeting her family can be a great way to have closer, but be careful not to rush it.

Think about what she was like when you first fell in love Why did you fall in love with this stunning lady in the first place? Don’t start trying to change her now that you’re together. And don’t get too jealous if she likes to still have her own friends. Letting her be herself and remembering what you love about her will give her the freedom to make you relationship stronger and actually bring you closer together. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men When you meet a person who is cool online, or IRL (in actual life, folks, get it together on the acronym front!!) there’s an urge to message that person. Sometimes the right call is always to go with your gut and just blitz the object of your desire with a ton of messages.

The other side of that is to err on the side of caution and prevent sending out so many messages. Now, I’m not likely to tell you what is right and what works because I honestly haven’t the fucking foggiest of what does and doesn’t work in that situation. I’ve failed in all sorts of exciting and interesting ways, but I’ve also done rather well in that respect, too. So, I’m not sure there’s a magical formulae. These days I tend to keep it calm and let things happen. That is, I shoot a text to a dame and if she feels like it, she’ll get back to me; if she doesn’t then she just weeded my garden for me. Have a nice life. I mean, if I would like to make certain, I may send a follow-up message. If the gal messages me back I check for how she replies. If she is interested in chatting me up she’ll engage me; ask me a question. If she’s not interested, it is a close-ended response, or she just won’t send one. Again, if that’s the case, have a nice life. Now that I’ve been at this while, seen the ins and outs for the online dating dynamic i will tell you these little things: 1. We’re not spoilt for choice. Duh, right? At least in Los Angeles, there are no shortage of singles. If one of them looks odd in their photo, i will move on and go for the next ‘normal’ looking dame.

But, am I really hurting myself? Yeah. I think this perception or, rather, reality of online dating is that we’ll be presented with endless choices and, thus, reasons to keep moving through the profiles until we find someone suitable… It’s a luxury and, I feel now, is a bit of a curse, too. There are a lot of awesome folks that I know I’ve passed over because I knew that I could just move on and find someone “better.” That’s not good, but I’m not alone ( not that that’s an excuse) but it’s important to look around you and see what’s there, or WHO is there, more appropriately. I know lot of awesome women. They’re friends and I may not necessarily regard them as dating material, but the fact remains that they, in fact, could be someone to get to know better. This week I took a moment to think on that for a bit. Rather than discarding people who don’t look or seem “right” (like what Tinder seems to promote) perhaps it’s time to really take an inventory and give people the opportunity you wouldn’t ordinarily give a chance to.

2. Get in there and get out Okay, I’m not talking sex here, folks, for once. I think you need to get offline as quickly as possible. I mentioned some tips for doing just that recently, and I think it’s critical to have on the market, meet face to manage, have a real conversation and figure out when you can handle each other’s shit. Is your date religious? Do they want kids? Easier to figure that kind of stuff out as soon as possible. Seriously. Otherwise what are you doing?

You’re carrying around a stick of dynamite with a lit fuse. It’s going to blow up on you and your sweetie. Get it out-of-the-way. Quickly. 3. What are we immediately after? Why are we here? That’s a big deep, deep question. The stuff books are written about; religions built upon and a bunch of other shit. I don’t expect you to have this answer or even know that this is a question you should ponder.

But it is. And I think when you can answer that, the answer you come up with may guide you in your dating journey, if not your lifetime journey. Are you here to accomplish the best damn job you can do doing whatever it is you do? Are you here to simply help people? Are you hear to leave your mark and bring young ones into the world? You may not know the answer and that’s okay. You don’t have to and you also’re not alone if you don’t have that answer. But it may not be a bad idea to revisit or visit that question.

What is it you want using this thing called life? Take your time but hurry up. You’re awesome, although not an immortal, we leave that shit for Christopher Lambert, y’all. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating It’s been a little while since we’ve featured another blogger here, on the Urban Dater.